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Theresa Nosferatu: Born in Codlepool, 1972 she quickly gained notoriety for her insane desire to set fire to things and her research into poisoning pets and classmates. Until they vanished, she had been described by close family as 'Someone who slipped into the gene pool when the lifeguard was not looking', 'Satan with tits' and ' A person likely to give a serial killer nightmares'.

Having proven herself to be a danger to all of humanity, Theresa has been incarcerated since the age of 14 at Smogboro Institution for Hopeless Nutters, where with the aid of a cocktail of experimental pharmaceutical drugs, she scribbles her insanely horrific predictions on the wall of her cell with her own excrement, after first rendering herself into a trance like state by sniffing her own farts. Theresa is Vegan.


Neptune will enter your solar underwear in a big way this month. This twinned with the rising of Sagittarius into your 4th House of Black Belt Flatulence...



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