SPORTING > BEAUTY PRODUCTS ABUSE–PART 2





 PREMIUM FOOTY LEAGUE BEAUTY PRODUCTS ABUSE–PART 2: THE COACH
All current PFL coaches declined interviews by The Whippet did manage to track down Fergus Macjockadile, retired former coach of Foreskin Dynamo, “We used to say that to be a team you needed to play as one unit and that you’re only as strong as the weakest link. Nowadays it’s all grooming with hair gel, lip balm and moisturizer. Now you’re only as strong as the weakest manicure. No one even farts in the locker room anymore. When I was young you could tell the ability of a good forward simply by the smell of his locker room farts and ability to block the toilet with a giant stodge brick of a turd, typically sired by a traditional diet of fried breakfast, steak and kidney pie and 5 pints of beer. These days all they eat is smoothies, oat and fibre muesli and tofu burgers. Most of the players have not had a solid shit in years, for God`s sake. Also, we used to play in all weather but some players are fake injury so they don’t get split ends or chapped hands, bunch of fecken girls. There is less beauty products used in women’s footy. In fact come to think of it, there is a lots less falling over and rolling around in women’s footy too.” 

 

When asked what was needed for the good of the game  Macjockadile  stated, “We need to get back to traditional hairy arsed, sweaty bollocks stinking locker room basics, instead of this bubble bath and conditioner shite.”

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