TV > TV TONIGHT # 1





TV TONIGHT #1

 

19:00 CSI SmogBoro:State of the art science is used to try and find out who owns the dog that keeps shitting outside Major's Fiddlers house. More DNA tests to find out the father of a 15 year old's second child. Tension becomes fever pitch after man is beaten to death in the toilets of a Cathedral Road establishment and the only lead is some lipstick found round his dipstick, bought from Poondstretchah.

 

20:00 Survivor Codlepool:  The tribes have to see who can steal the most Git Planks or other antisocial media in one evening. For the winners a slap up supper at Kabab Attak. The losers have to go out drinking in Cathedral Road without any weapons.

 

21:00 Dancn Wit The Chors:  See how our contestants perform to impress the panel of neurotic hairdressers. Tension escalates when Rubert Clench refers to contestant Big Shaz as ‘lamb dressed as mutton’, then refuses to apologise.

 

22:00 Dogn Tonight:Highlights of several road stops including both north and south bound action from the A19. The winner of spot the ball competition is announced.

 

22:30 Wired Life On One:Action from Cathedral Road including a possible rematch between Big Shaz and Shanisa Scrote, after last week’s bout was broken up by police. Also this month’s top 10 Pissed Chors roundup and the winner of the ‘match the vomit to the takeout restaurant’ competition is announced.

 

 

23:00 Barry and Steve’s Home Hijack.  This week the guys break into to the apartment of hairdresser’s, Justin and Colin, then proceed to decorate with the usual ‘modern blokes’ theme. There is friction when the owners return to find Pink velvet curtains replaced with Toonchester novelty blinds. The breast and vagina collage in the sitting room does not have the desired impact they envisaged. The last straw is when Steve leaves a huge Richard III in the toilet and forgets to flush. Colin calls Steve a barbarian. Steve bitch slaps Colin and reduces him to tears. Justin barricades himself in the pantry.

 

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