At a press conference yesterday Professor Squarkin of Codlepool Science Institute revealed how civilization was on the verge of catastrophe from a super virus spread from mice.
The nightmare scenario is that a Hollywood bum sex gimp mouse manages to escape from the cavity of a client with regular 4QUPU269 man flu, then proceeds to drink 5 pints of Supor Stupor beer to celebrate its new freedom and hooks up with slutty trailer park Chor mouse, possibly called Dana but most likely Britney, that has been snacking on shit from the arse of a pig that had previously snacked on chicken shit with the 4QPIG2 flu strain. This would provide the perfect foreplay conditions for the viruses to mate into a super swinger bastard virus effecting all mammals and birds.
Professor Squarkin explained, “You have to remember that mice are genetically 98 % the same as humans, which is why there used for medical research. The question is not if.., but when? The impact of society could be horrific with 97 % mortality to all species and Hollywood celebrities would have to find something new to shove up their arses.”
The Whippet contacted United Heath Organization regarding Squakin’s claims who stated the scenario was ridiculous as there is no way a mouse can down 5 pints of Supor Stupor.