Berk Splatter: 2013, Cabernet Sauvignon, Intercontinental Federation Winery, Swizzederland.

This dictator of a wine emanates from the Intercontinental Federation Winery, which arbitrarily voted itself the prestigious decoration of International Winery of The Year, so far on 33 consecutive occasions.

Pitched with a warning sign red colour and prostituting an arrogant acidic nose of supremacy, this shyster of a Sauvignon is superbly hung round a massive performance enhanced rich berry frame. Sporting an opulent massage parlor thong like silk texture, a squad of corrupting zesty layers outrageously dives across the palate in the first period, followed by a gently substituted backhander of sweet rounded plumby notes. Climaxing in the second half with a strike of ripe orchard tones, skillfully infused with richly sponsored carbonated fruity chants, this trixter finishes magnificently with whispers of spiced cinnamon and mocha at the final whistle.

For the right price, this little fuxter will pair with anything, but works well with lobster, oysters, and caviar, particularly if someone else is picking up the bill. Will cellar well if kept in a cool dark place, a prison cell would be ideal. RCN

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