50 Shades of Shite: 2015, Cabernet Sauvignon, Envirosexual Farm Winery, Spirit Hills, Bullshitamenia.

This is certainly a most curious red from the Envirosexual Farm Winery, where vines are lovingly fondled by pretentious poetry reading hipsters, with acute flatulence issues and deodorant is totally forbidden. Apparently, grapes are 100% organic and blended with ozone friendly free run pixie spunk. Sporting a fabulous purple cloak with a chewy dwarf texture and a magical musky cinnamon unicorn nose, this Sauvignon has more width than a wizards sleeve and builds on its solid fruity frame to finish with a slapping spell of tobacco, plum and leather clad elf voodoo.     Would parade well with free-range grass fed dark meat or organic pasta dishes. Would be absolutely perfect with methane generating, global warming farty vegan cuisine. However, consider pairing with fawn medallions on a bed of light mint cuscus, hunted by a vigilante mob of garlic and ginger roasted potatoes, or for dog lovers, kitten sushi. Excellent for all events but for a BDSM leprecon swingers gathering or even a quite night home, ploughing the back door of that special person in your life, 50 Shades delivers with a subtle hint of shock and awe. RCN