HEADLINES > TALLWALLYGANG REBELS ADVANCE





TALLWALLYGANG REBELS ADVANCE

Reports from Vaginastan indicate TallyWallyGang (TWG) rebels have made significant advances towards the capital Vaginastad. It is believed that the TWG are only days away from taking full control of the country. Panic has swept men throughout the capital resulting in many fleeing with their wide screen TV’s and Spazz Oblongsto set up man cave refugee camps in neighbouring Manginastan. Under TWG Shazzer law it is a crime to leave the toilet seat up, answer back or fart, all of which are punishable by long periods of deadly silence. Further, all women must have 1 manicure per week, 1 pedicure monthly and perform a minimum of 2 mood swings daily, climaxing with the slamming of a door, followed by the chant, “Fine see how I care!”. In newly controlled TWG territories there are unconfirmed reports of men being made to vacuum, wash up and use moisturizer, together with numerous other atrocities. Soccer, football, hockey and golf are forbidden along with beer, the pretext of the latter being "you don’t need alcohol to have a good time”. To date thousands of desperate men have fled across the border to neighbouring Manginastan, putting acute strain on authorities and aid agencies there. It is feared that a hugemanatarian disaster will unfold. The Whippet contacted government officials in Manginastan’s capital, Mangina, who confirmed that whilst they are open to dialogue, relations with Vaginastan continue to be ‘twisty faced

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