The incident took place yesterday in Cathedral Road, Codlepool as C.O.C.K (The Church of Cathodic Orgasm and Creative Kinkiness - AKA COCK Flock) members demanded an end to same marriage sex stating it was offensive to swingers. The protest started peacefully around noon when C.O.C.K members started to congregate for an intended peaceful demonstration branding placards stating their trademark slogan “Every hole is a goal!”. Pope Anode gave a speech on the merits of multi partner carnal relations and compared same marriage sex as being akin to not changing ones underwear, ever.
His speech was greeted to applause by church members and onlookers. However, the disturbance took place around 2 PM as members of C.O.C.K clashed with members of the local chapter of the Damnation Army led by Pastor Biggot, who just happened to be in the area canvassing for donations to support their damnation and guilt awareness workshops. The leader of the damnation chapter confronted Pope Anode and called him a pervert of Satan. As other members attempted to snatch C.O.C.K placards, Anode responded by stating he forgave Biggot for his low intelligence and inability to conjure independent thought and invited his congregation to attend their Saturday workshop where they can seek enlightenment through oral sex, guaranteeing that it would be a very moving experience. Thereafter other C.O.C.K members sang their famous hym “How can we say we love each other when my tongue is up your vagina and you’re tickling my penis with your tonsils“, as Damnation Army members looked on speechless. Police arrived at 2:15 in attack helicopters and the crowd was dispersed peacefully will only 3 reported casualties.
C.O.C.K was founded by former self proclaimed mobile disco king Timmy Davville in 2003, who now goes under the title of Pope Anode. C.O.C.K has no fixed location as their headquarters is located in a leopard skin painted mobile home know as the Catavan.