Dearest Coleman, I feel like a woman trapped inside a man’s body. I want a sex change and have saved up enough money for the operation, but at the same time I am of two minds, as I rather do like my trouser trumpet. - Carlo. Morongo, Cowgary.



Sexuality and gender can act in mysterious ways which reminds me of an episode from my service days, when I was lucky enough to be in the acquaintance of the most wonderful girl called Barry. Due to a freak birth defect, she was completely flat chested with a seven inch clittythingamagus and two splendid hairy testicles where her heavenly curtains should have been. We would spend many hours in my chamber wrestling together. Everything was absolutely delightful until I foolishly asked her to marry me, confiding in her my desire to sire many children. That was the last time I saw Barry. The very next day she completely vanished without a trace. That night I cried myself to sleep. How cruel some women are but I digress.


One’s penis is a truly marvelous weapon of love, pleasure and creation. Think very long and hard, before you render yourself like a wizard without a wand. Consider the fun you can have inserting it into delightful confined spaces or the splendid sensation of having your helmet tickling by someone’s tonsils. Talk softly to it whilst admiring it in the mirror and don’t be afraid to give it a thorough choking until you empty you porridge tanks and make everything sticky.


As you already have the funds then why not treat yourself to a nice pair of splendid big titties and with the spare cash, take them on a vacation to test them out. Thereafter, if indeed you still feel the same way, then go the ‘whole hog’ as it were and lob it off. Lastly, if you are in my neighborhood, do feel free to look me up for a free kit inspection.


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