HEADLINES > Al-CIDER ATTACK





 

Al-CIDER ATTACK 

Al- Cider extremists continued their anti beer campaign by deflating the tires of a convoy carrying Supor Stupor beer yesterday. This attack comes only days after the Codelpool Beer Festival incident where the doors to the mobile toilets had been super glued shut in a classic synchronized attack. A note was later found from the group by festival organisers stating that beer is a blasphemy to brewing, there is only one brew and that is cider and until all inferior brews are destroyed then urine will flow in the streets. 

The Al-Cider reign of terror has lasted over 2 years with over 50 separate incidents taking place across the country, believed to have been carried out by a various individuals, known as ‘Cider Cells’. To date no one has been directly harmed but over 2 million gallons of beer products have been destroyed. 

Although unconfirmed it is believed that the group is masterminded by Oliver Ben-Lakin, former Grand Wizard of the Mutton Maidens Cider Circle (M.M.C.C), famous for their Extra Wet Scrumpi Cider.

The Whippet`s Katie Rimmer contacted M.M.C.C who refused to be interviewed. However, a formal communication was issued later the same day refuting any connection with Al-Cider and further stating that MMCC was a piece loving brewery that respected all beverages, except alchopops, which are shit Chor drinks. 

 

 Taking the piss...

 

   

SUPOR STUPOR

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